Self expression

I'm all about it! I encourage it with my kids, myself and anyone else who is torn between following the status quo. Having said that I made a deal with Zoe; upon graduating from grade school she could get the tips of her hair done Blue. This is something she has been begging for. Well, it's that time, she did it! (I totally knew she would by the way) So come September she'll get her hair did.
But I'm trying to pitch a new hair doo too! I think this style fits her spunky, punk rock thing she's got going....



She, on the other hand is not really digging it. Sad day for me. However, I'm not going to make her do it. But I'm just saying, Dude, I'm a pretty cool mom for this one! Take advantage of me. Moms like this don't come around so often!

Bummer.

The scene of the crime

Perhaps I'm a mean mommy or maybe I'm just keeping it real. I'm out numbered at home. Three of them vs. one of me. I don't rely on my family and I certainly don't rely on their father. Having said that, I'm doing the best I can. Yes, I forget the little things, like a snack here and there or when picture day is coming and yes, sometimes I send them to bed without a bath after a long day of playing outside. But, I keep it real with them and anyone who asks me about them. I'm living and learning and one day they will totally be in therapy for being my little lab rats.

The newest "problem" in our lives is hitting. So far we have overcome cursing, name calling, slamming doors, throwing toys, touching things that aren't theirs and now I've come full circle to deal with the hitting dilemma... AGAIN. (thank god this is my last four year old!) It's bad. My boy Zach is just impulsive and doesn't seem to care about the consequences. It's everything from bed after dinner, no toys, no Leap Frog and not being able to go outside to play. I'm pretty sure that soon, he is going to get kicked out of daycare and sent to boot camp for pre-schoolers. (seriously, I've started a fund already)

So after a week, maybe two of Zach not taking heed to my warnings I finally found a threat that seemed to work. I told him I was taking him to the Police Station if he didn't learn to keep his hands to himself. Yesterday, I made good of it.

Here is my Police Report.

Yesterday, I picked him up from daycare and got another negative report from his teacher. "Zach has been hitting again today and left a bruise on Jason's face." I'm pretty sure I couldn't hide the rage that came over my face. I turned to my son and gave him a stern lecture. But when we were away from the teachers judgemental eyes, I told him I was taking him to the Police! And in kicked the hysterics! He shrieked and cried and dropped his body weight the entire walk up the stairs, down the outside stairs and all the way to the car. "Noooooo Mommy! Pleee-eeease! Give me a-noth--er chan---ce! It was an acc-i-dent!"

I got him in the car, and this continued as we picked up his brother.
Just as he slightly started to subside he realized that we were on our way home. Even pointing this fact out to me! But what this little guy didn't know, is that there is a Police Station right around the corner from our house. So as I took a sharp and alarming left HE STARTED SCREAMING:
"OH GOD! OH, MY FREAKING GOD! I'M IN SO MUCH FREAKING TROUBLE! PLEASE HELP ME!"
Now of course, I am in a bind... I want to laugh, because this is HYSTERICAL. He knows he isn't allowed to say this, but on the other hand, he is so stressed out, he doesn't give a flying crap right now! He is so petrified that I think he is a second away from losing control of his bodily functions and suddenly his big browns are just the sweetest things I've ever seen, so full of fear and dare I say innocence? and I want to console him! But I know that would defeat all purpose.

Finally I see an officer and quickly put the car in 'park'. I jump out like this crazy chick and shout "Excuse me! Excuse me! I need your help!" then realize that 1- he looks annoyed and 2- he may think I'm in trouble! So I follow with "Uh... I'm not in trouble or anything, but I was wondering if you could do me a favor, you see I have a son who is being bad in school and hitting all the time and I told him I was gonna bring him to talk to the police!" (what a mouthful; the poor officer!) Thankfully he agreed and asked how old my boy was, when I said "Four" I thought he was going to pass out!

He kindly obliged and went to the car asking which position he was in, then swinging open the passenger side back door to the wails of Zach sobbing and gasping for air "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! JENNA HIT ME FIRST!" (Jenna not being the child with the bruised face)
The officer replied with a sweet tone that also included what I like to call "Bass"
"Listen little guy, if someone hits you you walk away. You find the teacher and you tell her what happened. This way you won't get in trouble. Alright?"
"Yes sir." bottom lip pouting and quivering.
"And you listen to your Mom and your teachers! Do you understand me?" The big officer said, hand hanging over the top ledge of the door.
"Yes sir." Zach replied with tears streaming down his face.
"Now I don't want to see you back here again! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"
"Yes sir." my now exhausted and defeated son said as part of my Mommy heart ached for him.
"Good." and the door closed between us.


So I quickly turned to the officer who scared the daylights out of my son and thanked him and his reply was "No problem, now that will be $34.99." as he flashed his pearly whites and walked away. I did the same and jumped in my car, driving away, happy that it was over for Zach and satisfied with my decision.

So let me ask you this, what great lengths have you ever had to go trough to get your point across to your child? And did you do it even though it broke your heart?

I really hate being the bad guy......

Alright... I take it all back!

Over these last four days I had quite a bit of time on my hands due to a sick child. So there was no work for me and he slept quite often, allowing me to delve deep into a book that I was discriminating against, mostly, because it was the newest FAD.

Numerous times people who I know have told me I MUST read Twilight. How I will not be able to put the book down, how I am going to to wish I were a vampire (which doesn't surprise me due to my LOVE of biting and being bitten) and how I am finally going to become a fan of Rob Pattinson! So after my girlfriend literally put the book in my hand and said "Girl, you've gotta read this" I finally gave in. It was Thursday night when I opened the book and quickly zipped through the first 140 pages. All to saddened when I realized I had to go to sleep. I was completely engulfed. Friday I napped with my boy and spent much of my day cleaning and running errands. By night I had a clean place, a stocked fridge and a sleeping clan. After I read until my eyes couldn't take it any longer, I called it a night.

I had managed to ignore the kids all morning and they didn't seem to mind one bit! When I finally realized that we were going to be late with our park date I pealed my eyes away from Twilight. Now you remember me saying I went to bed with a clean apartment right? Well by Saturday afternoon the place was wrecked, I mean it was a war zone..... BUT the book was finished!

SCORE!

So here is what I take back.....

Everything I said about Kristen Stewart in my last blog. I totally love her now! While I do still think she is uber Plain Jane, I feel like that works so closely in conjunction with her character Isabella Swan. (who I love!)

and I was never a fan of Rob Pattinson. EVER. Until, he was the Vampire of my dreams. *heart skips beats*

Now I can finally see the movie! I got Tara feinding to read it AND I'm already reading New Moon!

SANTOGOLD vs. SANTIGOLD

"Change the graffiti on the bathroom wall, get your tattoo fixed, get your T-shirt airbrushed and change the name on your year-end list," reads the singer's press release. "Santogold is now Santigold. She's not telling you why, that's just how it is."

Either way... I'm at her show tonight at Terminal 5. Uhhh-Yaa!









I cannot wait! Hope she is good live. Although she doesn't strike me as someone who holds back....

YOUNG HOLLYWOOD

I have a bone to pick with you. I know this is going to sound rather crass, but I don’t like you! Nope, not one bit and let me tell you why.... you see it’s very simple, you, Young Hollywood make me feel old. I don’t know your names or your movies (unless you are a Jo Bro or Miley) but I do see your perky boobs, fab abs and creaseless faces everywhere. I see you on People, Perez, Gawker and you girls are even stalking me from my favorite fashion site Who What Wear.

Now I realize that I am a teensy tiny spec of debris in your world Young Hollywood, but I represent a lot of women. So I am going to post some of the fab young faces that I'm totally hating (er.... envying) and then I'm going to post some of the women that are my age and perhaps a little older, women who make aging look sexy. Like the new decades of my life should and will be.

By the way, I'm 32 and I am very aware that I am either; old to you; young to a few; in my prime to some or a cougar to others. (Meee-owah)



Kristen Stewart
D.O.B April 9, 1990



Now this may sound uber caddy to you, but I want you to understand that I'M JUST BEING HONEST and stating my opinion. But I don't find her to be so pretty. **GASP**
(maybe it's because I haven't read the Twilight books yet?) BUT... I do like her hair and I love her long legs. In fact, I'm totally jealous of them. Just look at them. Go 'head LOOK!!

Selena Gomez
D.O.B. July 22, 1992
and
Demi Lovato
D.O.B. August 20, 1992



Now these are girls I do know. My daughter loves them and I'm glad she has good taste. They are spunky, talented and sweet looking with great style. But I then become dually envious because 1- I want to play dress up in their closets (the same thing happened to me a few years ago with Mary-Kate and Ashley) and 2- they can eat Mc Donalds! I ate Mc Donalds last night and suffered a horrible belly ache all night. No, seriously, I thought I was incubating an alien that is how foreign the food felt. Is that age or just that my body isn't used to the grease anymore? Hmmm....

Zoe Kravitz
D.O.B.
December 1, 1988



Let's be honest here, she is the daughter of Lenny Kravitz and the ever beautiful and timeless Lisa Bonet, so that right there sums up that she was destined for greatness! Look at her effortless taste in clothes! I am such a fan of less is more. This girl is so NYC. And she played a really good drugged up street walker in The Brave One.

Scarlett Johansson
D.O.B.
November 22, 1984



Anyone who knows me knows I love her boobs! It's pretty bad, when looking at her, I become like a man and all else in the world ceases to exist. Hell, the kids could be setting the house on fire and I probably wouldn't notice. I don't think I've seen any of her movies and it probably wouldn't matter either, because I would only be paying attention to two things. Mmmmhmm, you guessed it. *wink, wink*

and P.S. Take it from me Scar, if you have babies, those babies will get ruined. You'll thank me for that advice. No, seriously, you will.

Zooey Daschanel
D.O.B. January 17, 1980



This indie baby's got it all! She has those beautiful big blue eyes, an infectious smile and I am a huge fan of her voice. She always picks the best roles, full of spunk and color and she is one half of the indie\country\pop (as listed on their Myspace page) group She & Him. AND! I cannot wait till her latest movie comes out: 500 Days of Summer!

Angelina Jolie
D.O.B. June 4, 1975



Ahhh.. This list of sexy women (notice "women" and not "girls") would not even begin to take flight if Angelina weren't part of it. Huge fan here. HUGE. I am fine with the sex god she was, I'm fine with her kissing her brother, I'm fine with her wearing Billy Bob's blood, I'm fine with her stealing that chicks husband, hell I'm fine with it all the way to where she is now being a humanitarian and the tamed mother of six that she is. Brad Pitt can make any ho a housewife and I would take her any which way she were offered. Serious girl crush here.


Halle Berry
D.O.B. August 14, 1966




Ok. Let me get to the point, did we see her pregnant?! I mean she was just stunning. She made it look easy and she sorta made me think I could do that again. But then reality bitch slapped me and said "Gurrl, you ain't no Halle!" (and yes, apparently the voice in my reality is a Southern Black woman!) All in all, I think Halle just grew more beautiful with age. I wasn't really a fan of her in her 20's, don't get me wrong, she was attractive but now, this woman is on fire!


I realize this list could go on and on and I already listed more women then I initially wanted to. But tell me, is there anyone you're hating on because they make you feel old? Or, is there anyone you love because they make aging look effortless?

You see at the end of the day, I believe I am exactly where I need to be in my life. And I kicked off my 30's with the 'Dirty Thirty' motto and I've got no intention of trying to clean it up! But every intention of doing it with style, sex appeal and intelligence. I think that is what growing older is about. You could have crows feet or grays, but really it's all about how you carry\portray and believe yourself.

oooo YAY!

I have a follower!
Hehehee...

Just me and my DVD playa

If you know me, you know that I am not much of a movie\TV watcher. I don’t have cable and as recently as last week my television has been displaying a “No Signal” sign about 3 weeks earlier then the country is supposed to go digital. The other thing about me is that I am an all or nothing kinda girl. I think it has to do with obsession\compulsion. I get a thought, act out on it, and become obsessed with it. It is the only thing I will do for months and then out of no where, I am completely over it. This ‘obsession\compulsion’ holds no bars and goes for everything from my six months of morning veggie shakes to my one year of reading only to Facebook vs Twitter to suddenly needing to have a draw full of Vicky’s panties. It doesn’t matter, once the notion is in my head, I cannot let it go.

My friends have become tired of saying “Did you ever see that movie ___________?” and me simply saying “No”. Which would always be met with a roll of the eyes or a “Get out!! You’ve never seen that?! It was a classic!” Or “Dude... that movie is from the 90's. What were you doing that you couldn’t see it?”

Having enough of my “No’s” the sweet souls they are set up an intervention of sorts and started a movie night at my place, you know, to culture me up a little. Alas, some of the shock and horror has now been replace with; “You know that movie_________? Well, of course you don’t but we’ll add it to our movie night.” They even Netflix with me in mind! What a bunch huh? Glad to have some company I usually whip up some tasty treats and make sure I have beer stocked. All in all, it’s a good time! But here is the thing, I think I am getting hooked! I’ve become so bored of reading every night. So, I have turned to the local supermarket Red Box. (Genius idea- a movie for a buck!) While I was mostly fine with being “the girl with no clue” I now want to be “that other girl” The one who knows EXACTLY what movie you are talking about! The one who knows all about that director and his tendencies. The one who can say “Oh... wasn’t she in that movie too!” Hell, I want to actually have a favorite movie! How about that? I want to “whoa” the crowd, dazzle them with my movie knowledge, I want to be a “cool kid”.

Do you smell what I smell? Uh-huh, thasssright... it’s another compulsion on the rise.