Friday, August 07, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Jesus' Slinger
So, a neighbor of mine invited us to her church last week and honestly, I'm not really into doing the "Jesus" thing, but she coaxed me into it when she started saying that they had classes for the kids and I would get to pray alone. TRANSLATION: I get to be kid free for almost 2 hours! I'M IN! (It doesn't take much for me to accept quiet time.)
When we got there I dropped my very eager children off to their prayer rooms and headed up the stairs with Lynda. I was really not prepared for what I was about to see. It was a dimly lit auditorium with 7 singers on stage, a mega screen behind them and one off to each side of them. I. Had. Entered. A. Concert. For. Jesus. These singers where clutching their hands to their hearts eyes closed and heads tilted back, while the audience were swaying side to side with their palms up. So what I noticed first was how many thugs there were for Jesus. I mean, dudes laced in gold. But on the verge of tears! and there I was thinking "You betta pray to Jesus drugs don't become legal because then you could kiss yo' money goodbye!" and then I heard it.... The message I was there to hear... It may have been Jesus himself who leaned in and grabbed my attention but the Jesus Slinger said "We should not judge one another! We should not look at what one has or doesn't have and make judgement!" Quickly I started looking around the room. My eyes were darting from one face to another.... "Had they heard me?" But no one looked back. In fact no one even cared who the hell I was, they were just shouting out random "Amens". And as the Slinger was Slingin' I start getting a terrible bellyache. All the while thinking "Did I really have to eat that pasta with veggies before church?" Sho' nuff I excused myself and went to the restroom. And of course I got my period! UGH.... you gotta be kidding me?! So I run upstairs, back in the now smoke filled auditorium, back to my assigned seat and say "Lynda, I just got my period. I'm gonna have to lea...." and she leans into me and grabs my hand and says, with love in her eyes "Honey, now that's Jesus!"
And there you have it y'all... JESUS IS ALIVE!!
When we got there I dropped my very eager children off to their prayer rooms and headed up the stairs with Lynda. I was really not prepared for what I was about to see. It was a dimly lit auditorium with 7 singers on stage, a mega screen behind them and one off to each side of them. I. Had. Entered. A. Concert. For. Jesus. These singers where clutching their hands to their hearts eyes closed and heads tilted back, while the audience were swaying side to side with their palms up. So what I noticed first was how many thugs there were for Jesus. I mean, dudes laced in gold. But on the verge of tears! and there I was thinking "You betta pray to Jesus drugs don't become legal because then you could kiss yo' money goodbye!" and then I heard it.... The message I was there to hear... It may have been Jesus himself who leaned in and grabbed my attention but the Jesus Slinger said "We should not judge one another! We should not look at what one has or doesn't have and make judgement!" Quickly I started looking around the room. My eyes were darting from one face to another.... "Had they heard me?" But no one looked back. In fact no one even cared who the hell I was, they were just shouting out random "Amens". And as the Slinger was Slingin' I start getting a terrible bellyache. All the while thinking "Did I really have to eat that pasta with veggies before church?" Sho' nuff I excused myself and went to the restroom. And of course I got my period! UGH.... you gotta be kidding me?! So I run upstairs, back in the now smoke filled auditorium, back to my assigned seat and say "Lynda, I just got my period. I'm gonna have to lea...." and she leans into me and grabs my hand and says, with love in her eyes "Honey, now that's Jesus!"
And there you have it y'all... JESUS IS ALIVE!!
Labels: Bullshit, Jesus, The Message
Monday, July 06, 2009
The King is dead
and no, I don't mean Elvis.
I mean the man I was supposed to marry between the tender ages of 8-14. Sadly, it didn't work out between us... I wasn't a boy. (ahhhh, I'm just kidding)
I know that this post is late, he died nearly 2 weeks ago, but I just couldn't articulate how I felt about Michael's passing. I did however Twitter like mad! It was a really bad day.... to say the least for me. And just about anyone who knew me knew I would be upset. My mom called ASAP "Heather, are you ok?" as if my real life husband had just died. (hmmmmmm, there's a thought to put a smile on a mean girls face) She continued to say "I just know you really love him honey...." and that was the truth.
You see, when I was younger I used to sing. The real deal. I had a coach. I had a great family that was an even greater fan club and I had my husband Michael. So, needless to say, when I gave my "autograph" to people, it said "Heather Jackson". I had the MJ jacket, a hand me down from my cousin, which made me love it even more. I had a life sized BAD poster in my room and talked to Mike often. (I've always had a thing for men with eyeliner)I watched his videos over and over again. I studied the sleeves to his albums, the inner art work as well as the lyrics. I wished I was Brooke Sheilds (someone who's beauty I didn't appreciate till I was in my 30's) I even got angry when people made fun of him. It was an attack on me as well. Hell, I loved that man so much that I often say to this very day, "Thank god I didn't have sons in my Michael hay day, or I would have gladly (perhaps stupidly) given them over to him."
I was a believer.
So Mike's later life became wrought with sex scandals and financial woes. He stopped making music, went under the radar and raised his masked clan. But his music never died. Especially in my house, where my boys have picked up one serious liking for MJ and let me tell you I have made sure their Mike knowledge runs deep. That is a long career to be covered, but they've got it. I started them off with Thriller (the album) Where Billy Jean just jump stared the fever in them. We have spent hours over time you-tubing everything Michael. My son had found things that I had forgotten about, like.... Captin EO?! Remember that one? I used to love it!
Anyway, to celebrate my late husbands (yes, I said it) passing here are some faves that my boys jam to! (What? He's their daddy too ya know!)
From the History DVD (which we own)
You gotta love the Bad ass-ness MJ (tries) to bring here
Unfort, for me (but probably great news for you.... you-tube has a lot of "embedding disabled") So there is what I could find, I could have went on a Mega Michael Mix, but I'll spare you all....
Always,
Mrs. Jackson
(WHAT?!)
I mean the man I was supposed to marry between the tender ages of 8-14. Sadly, it didn't work out between us... I wasn't a boy. (ahhhh, I'm just kidding)
I know that this post is late, he died nearly 2 weeks ago, but I just couldn't articulate how I felt about Michael's passing. I did however Twitter like mad! It was a really bad day.... to say the least for me. And just about anyone who knew me knew I would be upset. My mom called ASAP "Heather, are you ok?" as if my real life husband had just died. (hmmmmmm, there's a thought to put a smile on a mean girls face) She continued to say "I just know you really love him honey...." and that was the truth.
You see, when I was younger I used to sing. The real deal. I had a coach. I had a great family that was an even greater fan club and I had my husband Michael. So, needless to say, when I gave my "autograph" to people, it said "Heather Jackson". I had the MJ jacket, a hand me down from my cousin, which made me love it even more. I had a life sized BAD poster in my room and talked to Mike often. (I've always had a thing for men with eyeliner)I watched his videos over and over again. I studied the sleeves to his albums, the inner art work as well as the lyrics. I wished I was Brooke Sheilds (someone who's beauty I didn't appreciate till I was in my 30's) I even got angry when people made fun of him. It was an attack on me as well. Hell, I loved that man so much that I often say to this very day, "Thank god I didn't have sons in my Michael hay day, or I would have gladly (perhaps stupidly) given them over to him."
I was a believer.
So Mike's later life became wrought with sex scandals and financial woes. He stopped making music, went under the radar and raised his masked clan. But his music never died. Especially in my house, where my boys have picked up one serious liking for MJ and let me tell you I have made sure their Mike knowledge runs deep. That is a long career to be covered, but they've got it. I started them off with Thriller (the album) Where Billy Jean just jump stared the fever in them. We have spent hours over time you-tubing everything Michael. My son had found things that I had forgotten about, like.... Captin EO?! Remember that one? I used to love it!
Anyway, to celebrate my late husbands (yes, I said it) passing here are some faves that my boys jam to! (What? He's their daddy too ya know!)
From the History DVD (which we own)
You gotta love the Bad ass-ness MJ (tries) to bring here
Unfort, for me (but probably great news for you.... you-tube has a lot of "embedding disabled") So there is what I could find, I could have went on a Mega Michael Mix, but I'll spare you all....
Always,
Mrs. Jackson
(WHAT?!)
Labels: Feel the Beat, RIP, The gloved one
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Self expression
I'm all about it! I encourage it with my kids, myself and anyone else who is torn between following the status quo. Having said that I made a deal with Zoe; upon graduating from grade school she could get the tips of her hair done Blue. This is something she has been begging for. Well, it's that time, she did it! (I totally knew she would by the way) So come September she'll get her hair did.
But I'm trying to pitch a new hair doo too! I think this style fits her spunky, punk rock thing she's got going....
She, on the other hand is not really digging it. Sad day for me. However, I'm not going to make her do it. But I'm just saying, Dude, I'm a pretty cool mom for this one! Take advantage of me. Moms like this don't come around so often!
Bummer.
But I'm trying to pitch a new hair doo too! I think this style fits her spunky, punk rock thing she's got going....
She, on the other hand is not really digging it. Sad day for me. However, I'm not going to make her do it. But I'm just saying, Dude, I'm a pretty cool mom for this one! Take advantage of me. Moms like this don't come around so often!
Bummer.
Labels: Take it or leave it
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The scene of the crime
Perhaps I'm a mean mommy or maybe I'm just keeping it real. I'm out numbered at home. Three of them vs. one of me. I don't rely on my family and I certainly don't rely on their father. Having said that, I'm doing the best I can. Yes, I forget the little things, like a snack here and there or when picture day is coming and yes, sometimes I send them to bed without a bath after a long day of playing outside. But, I keep it real with them and anyone who asks me about them. I'm living and learning and one day they will totally be in therapy for being my little lab rats.
The newest "problem" in our lives is hitting. So far we have overcome cursing, name calling, slamming doors, throwing toys, touching things that aren't theirs and now I've come full circle to deal with the hitting dilemma... AGAIN. (thank god this is my last four year old!) It's bad. My boy Zach is just impulsive and doesn't seem to care about the consequences. It's everything from bed after dinner, no toys, no Leap Frog and not being able to go outside to play. I'm pretty sure that soon, he is going to get kicked out of daycare and sent to boot camp for pre-schoolers. (seriously, I've started a fund already)
So after a week, maybe two of Zach not taking heed to my warnings I finally found a threat that seemed to work. I told him I was taking him to the Police Station if he didn't learn to keep his hands to himself. Yesterday, I made good of it.
Here is my Police Report.
Yesterday, I picked him up from daycare and got another negative report from his teacher. "Zach has been hitting again today and left a bruise on Jason's face." I'm pretty sure I couldn't hide the rage that came over my face. I turned to my son and gave him a stern lecture. But when we were away from the teachers judgemental eyes, I told him I was taking him to the Police! And in kicked the hysterics! He shrieked and cried and dropped his body weight the entire walk up the stairs, down the outside stairs and all the way to the car. "Noooooo Mommy! Pleee-eeease! Give me a-noth--er chan---ce! It was an acc-i-dent!"
I got him in the car, and this continued as we picked up his brother.
Just as he slightly started to subside he realized that we were on our way home. Even pointing this fact out to me! But what this little guy didn't know, is that there is a Police Station right around the corner from our house. So as I took a sharp and alarming left HE STARTED SCREAMING:
"OH GOD! OH, MY FREAKING GOD! I'M IN SO MUCH FREAKING TROUBLE! PLEASE HELP ME!"
Now of course, I am in a bind... I want to laugh, because this is HYSTERICAL. He knows he isn't allowed to say this, but on the other hand, he is so stressed out, he doesn't give a flying crap right now! He is so petrified that I think he is a second away from losing control of his bodily functions and suddenly his big browns are just the sweetest things I've ever seen, so full of fear and dare I say innocence? and I want to console him! But I know that would defeat all purpose.
Finally I see an officer and quickly put the car in 'park'. I jump out like this crazy chick and shout "Excuse me! Excuse me! I need your help!" then realize that 1- he looks annoyed and 2- he may think I'm in trouble! So I follow with "Uh... I'm not in trouble or anything, but I was wondering if you could do me a favor, you see I have a son who is being bad in school and hitting all the time and I told him I was gonna bring him to talk to the police!" (what a mouthful; the poor officer!) Thankfully he agreed and asked how old my boy was, when I said "Four" I thought he was going to pass out!
He kindly obliged and went to the car asking which position he was in, then swinging open the passenger side back door to the wails of Zach sobbing and gasping for air "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! JENNA HIT ME FIRST!" (Jenna not being the child with the bruised face)
The officer replied with a sweet tone that also included what I like to call "Bass"
"Listen little guy, if someone hits you you walk away. You find the teacher and you tell her what happened. This way you won't get in trouble. Alright?"
"Yes sir." bottom lip pouting and quivering.
"And you listen to your Mom and your teachers! Do you understand me?" The big officer said, hand hanging over the top ledge of the door.
"Yes sir." Zach replied with tears streaming down his face.
"Now I don't want to see you back here again! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"
"Yes sir." my now exhausted and defeated son said as part of my Mommy heart ached for him.
"Good." and the door closed between us.
So I quickly turned to the officer who scared the daylights out of my son and thanked him and his reply was "No problem, now that will be $34.99." as he flashed his pearly whites and walked away. I did the same and jumped in my car, driving away, happy that it was over for Zach and satisfied with my decision.
So let me ask you this, what great lengths have you ever had to go trough to get your point across to your child? And did you do it even though it broke your heart?
I really hate being the bad guy......
The newest "problem" in our lives is hitting. So far we have overcome cursing, name calling, slamming doors, throwing toys, touching things that aren't theirs and now I've come full circle to deal with the hitting dilemma... AGAIN. (thank god this is my last four year old!) It's bad. My boy Zach is just impulsive and doesn't seem to care about the consequences. It's everything from bed after dinner, no toys, no Leap Frog and not being able to go outside to play. I'm pretty sure that soon, he is going to get kicked out of daycare and sent to boot camp for pre-schoolers. (seriously, I've started a fund already)
So after a week, maybe two of Zach not taking heed to my warnings I finally found a threat that seemed to work. I told him I was taking him to the Police Station if he didn't learn to keep his hands to himself. Yesterday, I made good of it.
Here is my Police Report.
Yesterday, I picked him up from daycare and got another negative report from his teacher. "Zach has been hitting again today and left a bruise on Jason's face." I'm pretty sure I couldn't hide the rage that came over my face. I turned to my son and gave him a stern lecture. But when we were away from the teachers judgemental eyes, I told him I was taking him to the Police! And in kicked the hysterics! He shrieked and cried and dropped his body weight the entire walk up the stairs, down the outside stairs and all the way to the car. "Noooooo Mommy! Pleee-eeease! Give me a-noth--er chan---ce! It was an acc-i-dent!"
I got him in the car, and this continued as we picked up his brother.
Just as he slightly started to subside he realized that we were on our way home. Even pointing this fact out to me! But what this little guy didn't know, is that there is a Police Station right around the corner from our house. So as I took a sharp and alarming left HE STARTED SCREAMING:
"OH GOD! OH, MY FREAKING GOD! I'M IN SO MUCH FREAKING TROUBLE! PLEASE HELP ME!"
Now of course, I am in a bind... I want to laugh, because this is HYSTERICAL. He knows he isn't allowed to say this, but on the other hand, he is so stressed out, he doesn't give a flying crap right now! He is so petrified that I think he is a second away from losing control of his bodily functions and suddenly his big browns are just the sweetest things I've ever seen, so full of fear and dare I say innocence? and I want to console him! But I know that would defeat all purpose.
Finally I see an officer and quickly put the car in 'park'. I jump out like this crazy chick and shout "Excuse me! Excuse me! I need your help!" then realize that 1- he looks annoyed and 2- he may think I'm in trouble! So I follow with "Uh... I'm not in trouble or anything, but I was wondering if you could do me a favor, you see I have a son who is being bad in school and hitting all the time and I told him I was gonna bring him to talk to the police!" (what a mouthful; the poor officer!) Thankfully he agreed and asked how old my boy was, when I said "Four" I thought he was going to pass out!
He kindly obliged and went to the car asking which position he was in, then swinging open the passenger side back door to the wails of Zach sobbing and gasping for air "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
The officer replied with a sweet tone that also included what I like to call "Bass"
"Listen little guy, if someone hits you you walk away. You find the teacher and you tell her what happened. This way you won't get in trouble. Alright?"
"Yes sir." bottom lip pouting and quivering.
"And you listen to your Mom and your teachers! Do you understand me?" The big officer said, hand hanging over the top ledge of the door.
"Yes sir." Zach replied with tears streaming down his face.
"Now I don't want to see you back here again! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"
"Yes sir." my now exhausted and defeated son said as part of my Mommy heart ached for him.
"Good." and the door closed between us.
So I quickly turned to the officer who scared the daylights out of my son and thanked him and his reply was "No problem, now that will be $34.99." as he flashed his pearly whites and walked away. I did the same and jumped in my car, driving away, happy that it was over for Zach and satisfied with my decision.
So let me ask you this, what great lengths have you ever had to go trough to get your point across to your child? And did you do it even though it broke your heart?
I really hate being the bad guy......
Labels: Tough Love
Monday, June 15, 2009
Alright... I take it all back!
Over these last four days I had quite a bit of time on my hands due to a sick child. So there was no work for me and he slept quite often, allowing me to delve deep into a book that I was discriminating against, mostly, because it was the newest FAD.
Numerous times people who I know have told me I MUST read Twilight. How I will not be able to put the book down, how I am going to to wish I were a vampire (which doesn't surprise me due to my LOVE of biting and being bitten) and how I am finally going to become a fan of Rob Pattinson! So after my girlfriend literally put the book in my hand and said "Girl, you've gotta read this" I finally gave in. It was Thursday night when I opened the book and quickly zipped through the first 140 pages. All to saddened when I realized I had to go to sleep. I was completely engulfed. Friday I napped with my boy and spent much of my day cleaning and running errands. By night I had a clean place, a stocked fridge and a sleeping clan. After I read until my eyes couldn't take it any longer, I called it a night.
I had managed to ignore the kids all morning and they didn't seem to mind one bit! When I finally realized that we were going to be late with our park date I pealed my eyes away from Twilight. Now you remember me saying I went to bed with a clean apartment right? Well by Saturday afternoon the place was wrecked, I mean it was a war zone..... BUT the book was finished!
SCORE!
So here is what I take back.....
Everything I said about Kristen Stewart in my last blog. I totally love her now! While I do still think she is uber Plain Jane, I feel like that works so closely in conjunction with her character Isabella Swan. (who I love!)
and I was never a fan of Rob Pattinson. EVER. Until, he was the Vampire of my dreams. *heart skips beats*
Now I can finally see the movie! I got Tara feinding to read it AND I'm already reading New Moon!
Numerous times people who I know have told me I MUST read Twilight. How I will not be able to put the book down, how I am going to to wish I were a vampire (which doesn't surprise me due to my LOVE of biting and being bitten) and how I am finally going to become a fan of Rob Pattinson! So after my girlfriend literally put the book in my hand and said "Girl, you've gotta read this" I finally gave in. It was Thursday night when I opened the book and quickly zipped through the first 140 pages. All to saddened when I realized I had to go to sleep. I was completely engulfed. Friday I napped with my boy and spent much of my day cleaning and running errands. By night I had a clean place, a stocked fridge and a sleeping clan. After I read until my eyes couldn't take it any longer, I called it a night.
I had managed to ignore the kids all morning and they didn't seem to mind one bit! When I finally realized that we were going to be late with our park date I pealed my eyes away from Twilight. Now you remember me saying I went to bed with a clean apartment right? Well by Saturday afternoon the place was wrecked, I mean it was a war zone..... BUT the book was finished!
SCORE!
So here is what I take back.....
Everything I said about Kristen Stewart in my last blog. I totally love her now! While I do still think she is uber Plain Jane, I feel like that works so closely in conjunction with her character Isabella Swan. (who I love!)
and I was never a fan of Rob Pattinson. EVER. Until, he was the Vampire of my dreams. *heart skips beats*
Now I can finally see the movie! I got Tara feinding to read it AND I'm already reading New Moon!
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
SANTOGOLD vs. SANTIGOLD
"Change the graffiti on the bathroom wall, get your tattoo fixed, get your T-shirt airbrushed and change the name on your year-end list," reads the singer's press release. "Santogold is now Santigold. She's not telling you why, that's just how it is."
Either way... I'm at her show tonight at Terminal 5. Uhhh-Yaa!
I cannot wait! Hope she is good live. Although she doesn't strike me as someone who holds back....
Either way... I'm at her show tonight at Terminal 5. Uhhh-Yaa!
I cannot wait! Hope she is good live. Although she doesn't strike me as someone who holds back....
Labels: Feel the Beat